My Journey to Self-Discovery and a More Mindful Life
From playing small to living with purpose, passion, and intention.
Hi. I’m Adele. If we know each other, if we don’t, welcome. I’m excited you’re here. I’ve been on a spiritual healing journey since 2021. I mean, really, I’ve been trying to find myself and my place in the world since I was a child, but I’ve put major work into getting there over the last year.
This is a long one but please bear with me because it gives a great introduction to me, holistic life coaching, and Settling Inn.
I am an only child raised by a single working mother. I used to say that because of that, I grew up quickly. To be quite honest, I think I had a very strong sense of self at a very young age, and the world around me found every way to tear me down. I spent years playing it safe and seeking validation and permission, but I started to hit a breaking point after my mom passed away in 2018. I no longer had a way to feel “safe.” I felt like a stranger. I was saying and doing things that just felt like someone else.
It was easier for me to let other people tell me who I was than to figure it out for myself. I was letting other people make MY decisions for me about BIG sh*t; where I’d live, who I’d hang out with, what kind of jobs I deserved. Worse, I let other people’s opinions determine how I felt about myself and the kind of love I deserved. I felt worthless and exhausted. I buried myself in work and got stuck in a loop of distractions, burning myself out in every way, leaving me anxious, irritable, and extremely hopeless.
In 2021, I had such a bad breakdown that resulted in me calling the National Helpline in the middle of the night. This was a scary wake-up call for me and that was when I realized that I absolutely needed to invest in taking care of my mental health.
I found a new therapist who specialized in EMDR therapy (we will talk about this much later) while simultaneously working with my holistic life coach, Marissa, even though I wasn’t sure what a holistic life coach was at the time. Although I was willing to give it a shot, I remember getting off our first call thinking, “so I’m just really going to journal and meditate and that’s supposed to make me happier?”
I genuinely had no idea how much happier it would make me.
I worked with Marissa through a personal wellness plan she put together for me for each season. This included a winter full of intention setting, a guided future self visualization, identifying my core desired feelings, and learning about Human Design and my astrological makeup.
I am so grateful that I paired EMDR and life coaching together because the first few months of this process were some of the hardest months I had ever gone through. I was working through radical acceptance of everything in my life in therapy while working with Marissa to find myself in that clarity. EMDR helped me let go of the longstanding trauma that held me back while meditating and journaling in coaching exposed me to everything I was destined to be. In order to tap into my purpose, I had to begin to trust my intuition. It took a while to get to that point because I used to second guess my thoughts, but soon I began to listen to the first things that came to my mind.
There was a moment in November 2021 when Marissa and I were talking about soul work; what I felt my soul was expanding into, what it was outgrowing, and what it needed.
“My soul needs grace.” The thought escaped my lips so seamlessly, it was as if it had been dying to get out for a very long time.
I can’t even describe the reaction my body had after I said it. It felt like this giant bag of emotions and trauma that I’d been wearing on my shoulders and chest for years had been physically removed. I started crying. This was not abnormal - I cried a lot in our sessions. What was abnormal is that I wasn’t crying from the hurt. This was truly a somatic emotional response. I was crying because I was relieved. I was letting go.
For years I told myself I wasn’t a good person so I wasn’t worthy of a good life. I’d remind myself daily that I was not enough. It is SO easy to beat ourselves up when we’re already feeling down.
The next few weeks were when it all really just clicked. I acknowledged my grief; I held myself often, but I continued to live for myself. I started picking up things I used to enjoy doing - reading, going to shows, taking myself out to dinner, taking yin yoga classes, and journaling for fun. I enrolled in holistic life coaching training with Marissa right before graduating from my program with her.
I did a lot of self-inquiry and realized that I wasn’t living my purpose. I quit my job in May to focus on holistic life coaching full-time and pickup gigs like contract copywriting, dogsitting, and any little things someone needed. I had more time to restore my energy and place it in the things that made me feel grounded.
Because I learned how to ground myself, how to identify my emotions and feelings, and how to take care of myself. I am more in love with myself and my life than ever. I am practicing mindfulness which is ultimately teaching me how to preserve my energy and give myself to the things that bring me purpose.
I want to state that I do not have all of the answers. I, too, am still living and learning from my experiences. I had a recent therapy session where we talked about how perfectly healthy and natural it is to still be grappling with self-doubt, as long as I am taking the time to understand and honor where it’s coming from before I move through it.
This platform is how I can share that mindfulness with all of you.
Finding the Breath
[2-minute introduction & 5 minutes of easy breathwork]
Let’s start with some general self-inquiry.
++ NEXT ISSUE: The Wisdom of Fall
Expect to talk about grounding practices, mindful living, and the power of intention setting. I am including activities for autumn wellness and a fun, hearty soup recipe. Make sure you are subscribed so you don’t miss a thing.