Manifesting The Love I Deserve, Part III of III
The third and final part of my heartfelt journey. Manifesting love
On June 4th I recited the Kundalini mantra, “Ek Ong Kar Sat Gur Prasad,” translated to “There is one Creator of all Creation.”
I was reading The Universe Has Your Back by Gabby Bernstein at the time, and she included this mantra and meditation practice in a chapter about “certainty.”
“My commitment to freedom from fear gave me the strength to embrace certainty in an uncertain world. The freedom I speak of is an inner peace that can come only from genuine faith in the Universe,” she wrote.
I had been powering through this book for a few days and with every page, I felt the positive flow of energy radiating throughout my whole body. Gabby Bernstein is a public figure I really admire. I see the great success she has as an author, a teacher, and a figure on social media. Par In this chapter about freedom and certainty, she wrote about how she was able to leave finding the love of her life to the Universe. Not long after, she found her husband.
My motto lately has been, “if it’s out there for someone, why not me?”
If it’s achievable for others, then it’s achievable for me, too.
And in this moment, reading this chapter, I thought, “She handed her faith over to the Universe and achieved great success and found her loving partner. Gabby is evidence that I can do the same.”
So, I decided that I was ready to become a co-creator of my life with the Universe. I was ready to ask for what I was ready to receive and surrender the timing to the Universe. I decided I was ready to raise my vibrations, to become a “super attractor,” and do everything in my power to stay magnetic in all areas of my life.
Before going into this practice, I told myself that I was ready to live in my power and attract and receive *genuine love* and connection.
In the book, Gabby noted the power of this manifestation, warning, “Whatever you are thinking about while listening to or singing the mantra will manifest in your life.”
While singing the mantra with my eyes closed, I started to joyfully tear up. Behind my eyes, I was picturing a strong connection with a partner whom I couldn’t quite make out, but I felt the warmth of love and serenity through my entire body.
As soon as the mantra was complete, I grabbed my pen and journal and jotted down everything I witnessed.
(This was a deep, intimate experience for me, and so I’d like to keep many parts private, but I wanted to highlight just a few notes to give you an idea of what images came up for me).
I began with, “I see myself with a partner…”
Holding hands in different states and countries
Dancing in the kitchen
Bonding over coffee in the living room or a coffee shop
Supporting each other in work and through big projects
Walking through the park
Having sober fun*
(Reader - I feel it is important to note that while I am not sober when it comes to alcohol, I have been working on creating a more intentional relationship with it and I have decided that I don’t want drinking and partying to be a fundamental asset of my interpersonal relationships.)
These were just a few of the things I noted.
And on June 18th I found a raw and honest dating profile of someone over 3.5 hours away that absolutely lit me up.
I couldn’t explain what I was feeling, but I knew I wouldn’t feel complete if I didn’t send him an initial message. And so I did, telling him I wanted to get to know him and that the distance didn’t matter.
And he messaged back expressing his willingness to get to know me but his reluctance about the distance basically said, “Prove to me that the distance doesn’t matter.”
Two days later, after a series of messages back and forth, one where he said he was looking for his partner to “dance in the kitchen with,” I showed up in his driveway, and thus began Adele and Joe.
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Joe is an incredible human being.
From the moment I met him, I was inspired by him. He told me all about where’s been and the struggles that led him to quit drinking. He told me about his future plans which include traveling and potentially living on the East Coast - something I’ve been dreaming about for a while, too. He told me about his career in marketing and his decision to work for himself so that he could live a more Bohemian lifestyle (sounds like a gal we all know and love, right?)
In getting to know him, I’ve learned that significant events in his life cracked open his world, much like mine did. I see someone who is exploring what this new world looks like and understanding and embracing his limitless potential.
We spend our mornings in his living room drinking coffee, sharing our dreams and our next steps. We explore local parks with his dog, Chester. We embrace each other throughout the day and remind one another constantly how much we adore each other. I feel that I can be myself around him and I don’t find myself slipping into old patterns of accommodation so he will continue to like me.
He loves me openly and makes me a priority.
The other day I brought up something about my career that I would normally be afraid to share with anyone, and he so seamlessly said he believed in me and offered input on how I could bring it to fruition. It was as if he had absolutely no fear about it, and if he did, he didn’t project it onto me, which is something I had grown used to from other people throughout my life.
I’ve never felt so supported so I work on reciprocating the best I can.
We have had a few small misalignments that we’ve been able to openly communicate about - explaining to the other person how we felt, what old behaviors were arising for us, and how tender we needed to be with one another when these instances came up.
I sometimes feel bewildered by this example of true partnership, but I know that it is a testament to the work I’ve put into myself and the reality I’ve been co-creating with the Universe.
You can’t get a healthy relationship like this when you’re both living in your wounded selves.
I had actually forgotten that I did this mantra and practice until about two weeks ago when I finally sat down with my journal for the first time since meeting Joe. I flipped back a few pages and my jaw hit the floor when I realized that I received what I asked for (travel plans, kitchen dances, coffee convos in the living room, work support, walks in the park, sober fun) - and more.
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I have felt an astronomical amount of joy since my partner came into my life, but I wanted to make it a point to mention that there is a greater picture here.
I had to first be in love with my unique self and my oneness before I could love another person.
I had to recognize that who I was before could not love someone else fully because she did not love herself.
While I had to recognize how I was being treated by others, I really had to recognize the role I played in my own suffering.
I had to recognize that not only did I desire to heal my past wounds, healing them was absolutely necessary for me to experience joy.
I had to recognize what sort of human experience I was currently having and what sort of human experience I had the potential to have.
I had to recognize that I wasn’t asking for what I wanted and that, in doing so, I wasn’t receiving what I needed.
I had to recognize that a partner should not be supplementing the love you desire and deserve, they should be complementing the love you desire and deserve.
I had to recognize that you can’t put the full responsibility of loving you on someone else. It has to come from YOU first.
You can fully love yourself and be whole, but having a partner who you feel connected to, and who loves you authentically is a great, loving bonus.
I hope that as you read through this three-part series, you recognize that you, too, deserve all of the joy and love in the world. You deserve to experience abundance and limitless potential. You deserve to heal. Your inner baby, inner child, inner teen, inner young adult, inner adult, etc. deserve to know that they are worthy of more than just survival and that from this day forward you are going to prioritize your worth and your joy for them and for your future “you.” You deserve to ask for what you need and have faith that the Universe will deliver it.
Use my story as evidence that it can all be done.
I am happy to help support you in any way. Just reach out to me and we’ll see where we can go from there.
Thanks for joining me on this three-part, heartfelt journey.
All my love,
Adele